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Take heed!
You know the type of thing - “That was a public information broadcast -
for stupid people.”
For example:-
“Don’t dry your child in your micro-wave oven.”
or...
“Balancing an electric heater on the edge of your bath could be dangerous.”
and...
“Keep your hands out of your rotating lawn mower.”
not forgetting...
“Most fires in the home are started by smoking in bed after sex.”
(I wouldn't know. I've never looked!)
They have them here too. These are my favourites.
“Cyclists should avoid riding four abreast around blind bends.”
Meaning, presumably it is OK to do so at any other time. As clearly all of them do!
“Please bathe or shower before attending your doctor’s surgery for examination.” ‘Before’ preferably meaning ‘same day’ and not 'sometime last week'!
“Avoid exchanging kisses upon meeting people when you have a cold or influenza.” At all other times it’s perfectly acceptable to exchange body fluids with whomsoever you happen to bump into.
I’ve finished broadcasting now.
For the day anyway.
