168 169 170 171 172 173 174 175 176 177 178 179 180 181 182 183 184 185
French Silicone Valley.
Due to a slight carcinogen risk 30,000 poor women have been advised by the
government here to have their suspect silicone breast implants removed.
Notwithstanding the fact that many of these will be prosthesis implants following
partial and radical mastectomy it’s a sad story. Particularly sad for those women that
felt it worth the money and the pain having their bodies carved up in the pointless
pursuit of pleasing their opposite sex. In my opinion overly large breasts are not very
attractive at all and imitation ones are the biggest sexual turn-off I can imagine. Any
woman thinking she needs big boobs to attract a man should instead look for a better one.
Fortunately for these women though they live in France so it is likely the French government will cover their costs. They can be grateful therefore they’re not suffering under Britain’s Draconian NHS regime!
Anyway, is there any silver lining to this gloomy cloud? Silicone gel as a raw material isn’t cheap so a scrap breast mountain may be useful. Two mountains and you might have a Silicone Valley of course.
What useful purpose could all this recovered silicone gel be put to one could ask?
For the puerile male 'big tit' fetishist they could be used to make adult themed
'Bouncy Castles' I suppose.
The average single implant weighs about 325 grams apparently (I researched it!). Assuming the majority, although acceptably not all, implants are installed in pairs (very few women would wish to have three or four) then that’s 30,000 X say 95% double plus therefore 5% single = 58,500 implants.
At 325 grams each that’s an astonishing 19 tonnes of silicone gel.
Apparently the suspect material that was mischieviously used in this case was industrial type silicone gel. Similar to that used for the manufacture of foam for cheap mattresses and upholstery cushions. 19 tonnes of the stuff when expanded into foam would make a 15cm mattress big enough to cover the pitch at Wembly Stadium. If you’re planning on succumbing to one of DFS’s notorious weekly ‘Once in a Lifetime’ sales and buying a cheap sofa, first check to make sure it doesn’t smell of Chanel No 5!
I’ve finished patting cushions now.
For the day anyway.
